How to Back up a Trailer, Camper or Boat When There's no Man Around to do it For You
Thank goodness for chocolate pudding! Okay, that line doesn't make a lot of sense when this article is about how to back up a
trailer, camper or boat when there's no man around to do it for you. My mishap with the pudding did, however, lead me to the
simple secret men have obviously kept to themselves concerning this most difficult of tasks.
Hopefully you have found this article to prevent your trailer from ending up somewhere you had not intended it to be and it's not now
blocking a boat ramp while you try and figure out why it went left when you wanted it to turn right. If not, I'll get right to the point so
all those angry fisherman you cut in front of and who now refuse to help you out, will stop giving you those angry stares.
First things first. All those trucks you zoomed by, idling around the boat landing, were probably in line waiting their turn to launch or
retrieve their boats. An unwritten rule among boaters is DO NOT CUT IN LINE, and you now stand no chance of any of them helping
you out, no matter how cute you are.
Having said this, you must now try and pull your trailer back into a fairly straight line with your vehicle and make sure you can see it
in your rear or side view mirror. Now, take your left hand and calmly place it on the bottom of the steering wheel in the six-o'clock
position.
Look in your rear view mirror and start to slowly back up. If you want your boat or trailer or camper to go left, simply turn your hand
(the one holding the steering wheel, of course) up to the left; want it to go right, turn your hand up towards the right.
Effectively backing up a trailer, camper or boat is just a series of small corrections. Go very slowly and make small adjustments until
you get the trailer where you want it, simple as that.
So, where does the chocolate pudding come in? Well, I decided to take the kids on a camping trip awhile back and rented one of
those pop-up campers for the weekend. This gal is not sleeping in a tent on the ground, that's for sure.
Anyway, the guy at the rental place hooked the camper up for me and we set out for our destination 100 miles or so away, in a
beautiful wooded area with a lake and pool and all sorts of cool things for the kiddos.
Pulling a trailer was easy enough, but I had been told by the guy at the rental place that backing it up was going to be quite a
challenge and was a skill generally not programmed into the average woman's DNA. I tend to ignore these types of warnings,
especially from men who are not actually looking at my face while giving them. This sometimes gets me into trouble.
Thankfully, however, I had been multi-tasking on the way to the campground and had spilled some chocolate pudding all over the
top of the steering wheel I had been using as a table of sorts while driving, talking on the cell phone, playing the "I-spy" game, and
trying to figure out what the lady on the GPS had just informed me to do.
By the time we arrived to our destination, the top half of the steering wheel was a sticky mess and I was forced to hold on to the
bottom half to navigate through the woods and over a river to the site we would call home for the next couple of days.
My Ex had also warned me that I was going to have trouble backing the camper into its spot, but I figured there would certainly be a
man or two around to do it for me when we got there and it wouldn't be an issue. I had even worn a particularly flattering set of
shorts and cute top to make certain I had a line of volunteers eagerly competing for this manly task.
Nope, just a couple of squirrels and my pack of children. Much to their disappointment, I was able to back the camper into its spot
without much difficulty. Obviously having my hand on the bottom of the steering wheel instead of the top somehow made all this
normally basackwards backing up make a lot more sense. Just turn the wheel in the direction you want the trailer to go and presto,
there you are.
So ladies, when there is no man around to back up your trailer, camper or boat, or you just want to show off a little, try this trick and
with a little luck, every man within a 100 mile radius will feel an uncomfortable vibration in the "force" and you can add one more
thing to your growing list of reasons of why men may not be all that necessary in the first place. Just kidding guys, this is a humor
piece, stop your grunting.