| My Brilliant Collection of Humerous And Witty Articles |
When you click on the article title you will
be directed to the online magazine
SearchWarp where my articles are
archived. I do this for two reasons, one
to save bandwidth and secondly, I love it
there. Such a great community of writers
and a wonderful staff!! Make sure you
click back to me when you're done
reading though!!
be directed to the online magazine
SearchWarp where my articles are
archived. I do this for two reasons, one
to save bandwidth and secondly, I love it
there. Such a great community of writers
and a wonderful staff!! Make sure you
click back to me when you're done
reading though!!
Get Off the Tracks!!! Life is a funny thing.
You're plodding along, working diligently
towards your goals, and just when you think
you can see the light at the end of the tunnel
you suddenly realize you're looking the wrong
way. Where did you get turned around? Was
it...
Looking Out For the Little Guy So I'm in
the paint store last night, or more accurately,
the Home Depot. It was around nine o'clock in
the PM hour when I thought most sensible
people would have already taken care of all
their home improvement shopping needs.
Nope, wrong again....
The Beer Pager - A Drunken Review Ever
had one of those moments when you come
up with an idea for a great invention, never
act on it, and then see it later in a store or
infomercial somewhere? My ex has those
moments all the time. His latest bright idea
that someone else has now...
Laugh At Me All You Want Is it my fault that
God made me prettier, smarter and younger
than all the other mothers at my daughter's
elementary school? Do I not go above and
beyond the call of duty in my attempts at
making these less fortunate mothers feel
comfortable...
Waiter, There's a Fly in my Soup In today's
tough economy and desperate financial
landscape, taking your kids out to eat at a
fancy restaurant is probably not the best way
to go about tightening your purse straps. I
decided recently to do it anyway and learned
a valuable...
The Ex Got The Kids a Termite Detection
Dog For Christmas! My ex has been
accused of many things ... using common
sense is not one of them. The following story
perfectly illustrates why I found it necessary
to break my children's heart, move out to the
country and nearly bankrupt myself to escape
his... added 4 days 2 hours ago.
Bibliophobia: A Better Excuse Than My
Dog Ate My Homework! My daughter was
sent home from school the other day with a
letter from her teacher stating she had not
been doing her homework and could I look
into the matter. When confronted, my
daughter claimed she was suffering from
Bibliophobia, or a fear of...
Do Not Attempt... Stupid comments made by
otherwise smart people prove that
intelligence is all relative. For example, when I
had the ex come over to look at my flat tire
recently, he told me the tire would need to be
replaced. I know nothing about tires so my...
added 103 days 20 hours ago.
Hey Mommy, Knock Knock... My son is at
that age where he loves to prove just how
dumb his mother is. He doesn't do it in a
mean hateful way, but rather through silly
little riddles and the type of questions that
lead you to the wrong answer and make you
look like an... added 160 days 20 hours ago.
I Just Bought a Nanny Cam… Now All I
Need is a Nanny! When you are as socially
popular as I am, you must often attend affairs
and events at a moments notice, and it can
be really quite difficult to find a sitter way out
here in the middle of no where. My daughter
is old enough for the job, and no... added
164 days 3 hours ago.
Mommy, Do You Think the Ketchup is
Still Good? At about this same time last
year, I had decided to throw myself a birthday
party. It was to be an extravagant event for
the ages; a no expense spared type of affair.
Before you ask, no, there was no one in my
life at the time willing to put the... added 167
days 3 hours ago.
SearchWarp Sent Me to Florida For
Free…Well, Almost The last article I
submitted to SearchWarp was about my
daughter going to spend some time with my
sister in Florida for the summer and a band
named, Betty's Not a Vitamin. It seems
SearchWarp has a broad range of readers or
is easily indexed by... added 180 days 21
hours ago.
Betty's Not A Vitamin At the beginning of
this past school year, I had made an
agreement with my oldest daughter that if she
could maintain at least a B average, I would
be happy to pay for her plane ticket to Tampa
where she intended to spend a month of the
summer... added 195 days 1 hour ago.
Roosters and Used Cars... The other night
after dinner, my oldest daughter called for a
family meeting... Uh-Oh. These meetings are
happening with alarming frequency as my
children get older and I become, at least in
their opinion, much more difficult to live
with.... added 200 days ago.
June 20th… I Finally Used My Mother's
Day Present Divorced mothers tend to get
gypped on Mother's Day because dad no
longer feels compelled, or more accurately,
required to take the little ones shopping to
ensure a proper gift is purchased for the gal
who gives so much of herself to so many...
added 206 days ago.
Dear Santa…A Letter My Son Wrote After
Christmas Dear Santa, I know you usually
get letters before Christmas and not after but
I just had to write and ask What the heck? I'll
preface my opinion of you with a recap of the
preceding year, when filled with delusion I
thought my good... added 272 days 4 hours
ago.
Baseball, Cotton Candy And The Public
School System…Oh My Being the
passionate and responsible mother that I am,
and one who would never allow public
schooling to stand in the way of my children's
education, I find it necessary on occasion to
interject a measure of common sense and let
my kid's play... added 286 days 5 hours ago.
10 Things My Children Have To Know
Right This Very Second The other day,
after opening my real estate tax bill, my six
year old son asked me why I was crying. Boy
was he in the wrong place at the wrong time!
After a fifteen minute dissertation on unfair
taxation, the American Revolution and the...
added 292 days 23 hours ago.
Why Do Old People Do Everything So
Slow? At the risk of sounding insensitive, I
will preface this article by telling you how
much I love and respect my parents, who,
unfortunately are getting old but have
forgiven me and given their permission for my
submission of the following tirade:... added
296 days 21 hours ago.
Pay It Forward…And Help Change The
World I was at the store the other day and
due to a banking error (or possible over-site
on my part), my credit card for some medicine
I was picking up for my very sick son, was
declined. I was mad, frustrated and upset at
the timing of this latest... added 299 days 1
hour ago.
Diamond Hunting in the Wal-Mart Parking
Lot I tell you, my oldest daughter is
something else. Last summer she would wake
up at the crack of dawn and ride her bike to
the mall. It was only a short distance away
and she would ride with friends so it wasn't so
much a safety concern I was... added 304
days 3 hours ago.
The Absolute Best Baby Shower Gift Idea
Ever…And An Equally Awesome
Business Opportunity! I was invited to my
sister's baby shower recently and in the
process, discovered my next business
venture...diaper cake making! I had rushed to
the store, the day of the event of course, and
bought the customary bib and pacifier set for
baby... added 305 days 2 hours ago.
My Son Cheated at Easter…and I Couldn’
t Have Been Prouder! As Easter rapidly
approaches, I'm reminded of a time not so
long go when my son took his first steps into
becoming a man...He cheated at Easter. It all
started around 5:00 AM that fateful morning.
The "Easter Bunny" had just hidden a basket
full... added 306 days 21 hours ago.
Science Versus Religion… An Old Earth
Versus a New Earth, Who’s Right? The
large majority of my family counseling
practice revolves around couples attempting
to save their marriages. When I ask them to
tell me how old they believe the earth to be,
I'm constantly amazed at the variety of
answers I receive. The... added 307 days 5
hours ago.
How I Discovered My House Was Not
Hooked Up To The City Sewer System
Come to find out that when you live as far out
in the country as I do, when you flush your
toilet, the "stuff" gets directed out into a big
storage tank buried in your yard somewhere
and never actually leaves the property.
Really, I'm not kidding... added 310 days 22
hours ago.
Sit, Stay, Fetch…How to Train Your Man.
When I was a younger woman, not so long
ago, I used to train dogs for a living. I can
honestly say that had I applied similar
techniques with the men in my life, perhaps
I'd still be married. Stupid of me really to think
there's that much of a... added 313 days 1
hour ago.
If You Knew You Were Dying, How Would
You Start Living? The following was spoken
during a recent funeral service held for my
very special and very loved Aunt, Darlene.
"When my Aunt unexpectedly passed away
just recently, my daughter remarked how sad
it was but how happy she was for her that she
got... added 315 days ago.
How to Make Sure a Woman Rejects You
I was going to write an article called: How to
Make a Woman Fall in Love With You, but it's
been done a million times and men don't
listen anyway. Since most men do the
opposite of what women tell them to do, I
thought I'd put a list of turn offs... added 318
days 5 hours ago.
Relationship Advice From My Ex-
Husband The Internet is full of relationship
advice. There are more self proclaimed
relationship experts out there than there are
couples that are in need of their help. So, I
thought I would shine a different light on the
subject and present you... added 321 days 2
hours ago.
You Want To Put It Where? A few years
back, my ex thought it would be hilarious to
dress up as a cigar for Halloween. This was
shortly after the whole Bill Clinton, Monica
Lewinski thing blew up all over the news and
he thought people would no doubt make the
connection. I... added 325 days 21 hours ago.
Water and Electricity Don't Mix...Since
When? Alright girls, here's a true story that
could happen to any one of us. It could even
happen to a guy for that matter, only it didn't,
it happened to me. I burned our house down.
My ex-husband and I, back when we were first
married, had rented a... added 325 days 22
hours ago.
Men Play Golf to Get Away From Women...
Who Knew? Golf Clubs, $750.00 - Golf
Shoes, $95.00 - Pink Golf Balls, $35.00...
The look on my husbands face when I walked
into his country club to join him for a round of
golf Priceless! Golf for women, Ladies
golffemale golf? I don't know, it just... added
327 days 19 hours ago.
The Riddle of the Missing Punch Bowl
This article was written when I was still
married. I came across it doing a little spring
cleaning. I'm so over the winter and as a
proponent to the Law of Attraction and
thinking like it's already so, I thought I'd
visualize warmer weather, sunny... added
334 days 21 hours ago.
Unique Hobbies my Ex-Husband Spent a
Fortune on... Ah, men and their manly
hobbies. Most are expensive, time consuming
and ultimate relationship killers. Here's jus t a
few my ex decide he just had to try
Beekeeping... Even though my ex is deathly
allergic to bees, and most other insects for...
added 335 days 2 hours ago.
What Every Woman Should Know About
Football and Marriage My best friend
forever Megan, got married last year. Believe
me, I tried to talk her out of it; Or I at least
advised her to wait awhile longer before
taking the plunge. She was in love though, at
least with the idea of marriage. Scott, her...
added 343 days 22 hours ago
You're plodding along, working diligently
towards your goals, and just when you think
you can see the light at the end of the tunnel
you suddenly realize you're looking the wrong
way. Where did you get turned around? Was
it...
Looking Out For the Little Guy So I'm in
the paint store last night, or more accurately,
the Home Depot. It was around nine o'clock in
the PM hour when I thought most sensible
people would have already taken care of all
their home improvement shopping needs.
Nope, wrong again....
The Beer Pager - A Drunken Review Ever
had one of those moments when you come
up with an idea for a great invention, never
act on it, and then see it later in a store or
infomercial somewhere? My ex has those
moments all the time. His latest bright idea
that someone else has now...
Laugh At Me All You Want Is it my fault that
God made me prettier, smarter and younger
than all the other mothers at my daughter's
elementary school? Do I not go above and
beyond the call of duty in my attempts at
making these less fortunate mothers feel
comfortable...
Waiter, There's a Fly in my Soup In today's
tough economy and desperate financial
landscape, taking your kids out to eat at a
fancy restaurant is probably not the best way
to go about tightening your purse straps. I
decided recently to do it anyway and learned
a valuable...
The Ex Got The Kids a Termite Detection
Dog For Christmas! My ex has been
accused of many things ... using common
sense is not one of them. The following story
perfectly illustrates why I found it necessary
to break my children's heart, move out to the
country and nearly bankrupt myself to escape
his... added 4 days 2 hours ago.
Bibliophobia: A Better Excuse Than My
Dog Ate My Homework! My daughter was
sent home from school the other day with a
letter from her teacher stating she had not
been doing her homework and could I look
into the matter. When confronted, my
daughter claimed she was suffering from
Bibliophobia, or a fear of...
Do Not Attempt... Stupid comments made by
otherwise smart people prove that
intelligence is all relative. For example, when I
had the ex come over to look at my flat tire
recently, he told me the tire would need to be
replaced. I know nothing about tires so my...
added 103 days 20 hours ago.
Hey Mommy, Knock Knock... My son is at
that age where he loves to prove just how
dumb his mother is. He doesn't do it in a
mean hateful way, but rather through silly
little riddles and the type of questions that
lead you to the wrong answer and make you
look like an... added 160 days 20 hours ago.
I Just Bought a Nanny Cam… Now All I
Need is a Nanny! When you are as socially
popular as I am, you must often attend affairs
and events at a moments notice, and it can
be really quite difficult to find a sitter way out
here in the middle of no where. My daughter
is old enough for the job, and no... added
164 days 3 hours ago.
Mommy, Do You Think the Ketchup is
Still Good? At about this same time last
year, I had decided to throw myself a birthday
party. It was to be an extravagant event for
the ages; a no expense spared type of affair.
Before you ask, no, there was no one in my
life at the time willing to put the... added 167
days 3 hours ago.
SearchWarp Sent Me to Florida For
Free…Well, Almost The last article I
submitted to SearchWarp was about my
daughter going to spend some time with my
sister in Florida for the summer and a band
named, Betty's Not a Vitamin. It seems
SearchWarp has a broad range of readers or
is easily indexed by... added 180 days 21
hours ago.
Betty's Not A Vitamin At the beginning of
this past school year, I had made an
agreement with my oldest daughter that if she
could maintain at least a B average, I would
be happy to pay for her plane ticket to Tampa
where she intended to spend a month of the
summer... added 195 days 1 hour ago.
Roosters and Used Cars... The other night
after dinner, my oldest daughter called for a
family meeting... Uh-Oh. These meetings are
happening with alarming frequency as my
children get older and I become, at least in
their opinion, much more difficult to live
with.... added 200 days ago.
June 20th… I Finally Used My Mother's
Day Present Divorced mothers tend to get
gypped on Mother's Day because dad no
longer feels compelled, or more accurately,
required to take the little ones shopping to
ensure a proper gift is purchased for the gal
who gives so much of herself to so many...
added 206 days ago.
Dear Santa…A Letter My Son Wrote After
Christmas Dear Santa, I know you usually
get letters before Christmas and not after but
I just had to write and ask What the heck? I'll
preface my opinion of you with a recap of the
preceding year, when filled with delusion I
thought my good... added 272 days 4 hours
ago.
Baseball, Cotton Candy And The Public
School System…Oh My Being the
passionate and responsible mother that I am,
and one who would never allow public
schooling to stand in the way of my children's
education, I find it necessary on occasion to
interject a measure of common sense and let
my kid's play... added 286 days 5 hours ago.
10 Things My Children Have To Know
Right This Very Second The other day,
after opening my real estate tax bill, my six
year old son asked me why I was crying. Boy
was he in the wrong place at the wrong time!
After a fifteen minute dissertation on unfair
taxation, the American Revolution and the...
added 292 days 23 hours ago.
Why Do Old People Do Everything So
Slow? At the risk of sounding insensitive, I
will preface this article by telling you how
much I love and respect my parents, who,
unfortunately are getting old but have
forgiven me and given their permission for my
submission of the following tirade:... added
296 days 21 hours ago.
Pay It Forward…And Help Change The
World I was at the store the other day and
due to a banking error (or possible over-site
on my part), my credit card for some medicine
I was picking up for my very sick son, was
declined. I was mad, frustrated and upset at
the timing of this latest... added 299 days 1
hour ago.
Diamond Hunting in the Wal-Mart Parking
Lot I tell you, my oldest daughter is
something else. Last summer she would wake
up at the crack of dawn and ride her bike to
the mall. It was only a short distance away
and she would ride with friends so it wasn't so
much a safety concern I was... added 304
days 3 hours ago.
The Absolute Best Baby Shower Gift Idea
Ever…And An Equally Awesome
Business Opportunity! I was invited to my
sister's baby shower recently and in the
process, discovered my next business
venture...diaper cake making! I had rushed to
the store, the day of the event of course, and
bought the customary bib and pacifier set for
baby... added 305 days 2 hours ago.
My Son Cheated at Easter…and I Couldn’
t Have Been Prouder! As Easter rapidly
approaches, I'm reminded of a time not so
long go when my son took his first steps into
becoming a man...He cheated at Easter. It all
started around 5:00 AM that fateful morning.
The "Easter Bunny" had just hidden a basket
full... added 306 days 21 hours ago.
Science Versus Religion… An Old Earth
Versus a New Earth, Who’s Right? The
large majority of my family counseling
practice revolves around couples attempting
to save their marriages. When I ask them to
tell me how old they believe the earth to be,
I'm constantly amazed at the variety of
answers I receive. The... added 307 days 5
hours ago.
How I Discovered My House Was Not
Hooked Up To The City Sewer System
Come to find out that when you live as far out
in the country as I do, when you flush your
toilet, the "stuff" gets directed out into a big
storage tank buried in your yard somewhere
and never actually leaves the property.
Really, I'm not kidding... added 310 days 22
hours ago.
Sit, Stay, Fetch…How to Train Your Man.
When I was a younger woman, not so long
ago, I used to train dogs for a living. I can
honestly say that had I applied similar
techniques with the men in my life, perhaps
I'd still be married. Stupid of me really to think
there's that much of a... added 313 days 1
hour ago.
If You Knew You Were Dying, How Would
You Start Living? The following was spoken
during a recent funeral service held for my
very special and very loved Aunt, Darlene.
"When my Aunt unexpectedly passed away
just recently, my daughter remarked how sad
it was but how happy she was for her that she
got... added 315 days ago.
How to Make Sure a Woman Rejects You
I was going to write an article called: How to
Make a Woman Fall in Love With You, but it's
been done a million times and men don't
listen anyway. Since most men do the
opposite of what women tell them to do, I
thought I'd put a list of turn offs... added 318
days 5 hours ago.
Relationship Advice From My Ex-
Husband The Internet is full of relationship
advice. There are more self proclaimed
relationship experts out there than there are
couples that are in need of their help. So, I
thought I would shine a different light on the
subject and present you... added 321 days 2
hours ago.
You Want To Put It Where? A few years
back, my ex thought it would be hilarious to
dress up as a cigar for Halloween. This was
shortly after the whole Bill Clinton, Monica
Lewinski thing blew up all over the news and
he thought people would no doubt make the
connection. I... added 325 days 21 hours ago.
Water and Electricity Don't Mix...Since
When? Alright girls, here's a true story that
could happen to any one of us. It could even
happen to a guy for that matter, only it didn't,
it happened to me. I burned our house down.
My ex-husband and I, back when we were first
married, had rented a... added 325 days 22
hours ago.
Men Play Golf to Get Away From Women...
Who Knew? Golf Clubs, $750.00 - Golf
Shoes, $95.00 - Pink Golf Balls, $35.00...
The look on my husbands face when I walked
into his country club to join him for a round of
golf Priceless! Golf for women, Ladies
golffemale golf? I don't know, it just... added
327 days 19 hours ago.
The Riddle of the Missing Punch Bowl
This article was written when I was still
married. I came across it doing a little spring
cleaning. I'm so over the winter and as a
proponent to the Law of Attraction and
thinking like it's already so, I thought I'd
visualize warmer weather, sunny... added
334 days 21 hours ago.
Unique Hobbies my Ex-Husband Spent a
Fortune on... Ah, men and their manly
hobbies. Most are expensive, time consuming
and ultimate relationship killers. Here's jus t a
few my ex decide he just had to try
Beekeeping... Even though my ex is deathly
allergic to bees, and most other insects for...
added 335 days 2 hours ago.
What Every Woman Should Know About
Football and Marriage My best friend
forever Megan, got married last year. Believe
me, I tried to talk her out of it; Or I at least
advised her to wait awhile longer before
taking the plunge. She was in love though, at
least with the idea of marriage. Scott, her...
added 343 days 22 hours ago
Absolutely not!
We are men, made to hunt, made from sterner stuff. Ours is the job of
protecting, surviving and of course ruling aristocratically. Ask any man. Well,
any man not in the company of a woman. You know the answer. It's instinctual.
I may not be politically correct, in fact I'm not political at all; I'm just correct.
Now that I've told it like it is, and sufficiently bolstered my male ego, I'll quickly
get to the point before my wife catches me at the computer rather than
scrubbing the floors like she told me to do. Sorry dear!
In fact a recent report by the Council on Contemporary Families shows that
men are actually getting better at cleaning up after themselves, helping around
the house and looking after the kids. While we're not necessarily doing 50% of
the household duties or looking after the kids as much as mothers tend to, we
are definitely improving and compared to our father's generation, we're down
right progressive.
The report suggests that men's contribution to housework has as much as
doubled in the past four decades and we have tripled the time we spend on
child care in the same period.
Of course, and rather surprisingly, the amount of nagging we endure has not
reduced correspondingly. In fact there are many men who would suggest that
the nagging has increased. We've shown weakness and the women have
moved in for the kill.
It makes you wonder if our fathers actually had it right. Sitting on their ever
expanding butts, as meals, snacks, beer and chips are brought forth from the
little woman's area. Watching TV as the housework, kids, dog and life goes by
around them.
Oh what a life! At least for a day...
But to be honest, I couldn't imagine being one of those old fashioned dads that
gets home from work and expects the children clean and quiet, to be seen but
not heard, the house tidy and dinner on the table.
I revel in getting down on the floor with my son and playing the games I know
he loves, knowing which teddy is his favourite, what each new sound he makes
means, anticipating his moods and marvelling at each new accomplishment.
Dare I say it, I even enjoy changing him (please don't tell my wife!), because it
is more bonding time for dad.
Best of all I love to learn all the wonderful little idiosyncrasies that make him
who he is. Our fathers and their fathers before them missed out on some of the
true wonders of life; and while I might momentarily envy them the comfy throne,
servile wife and the right to be a gruff authoritarian, I wouldn't trade places with
them for all the tea in China.
Now about that housework: When you say the floors need to be clean enough
to eat off, we're talking about the dog eating off them right?? If so, another job
well done!
To read more from a guy who kinda gets it, click here
Note from Myla: Ben Jones is a terribly funny and talented guy who seems to
understand, at least more than most guys do, how women think. I don't know
him personally, but if his writing is any insight on the man behind the pen, he
gets to hang around when women finally take over the world and shoot the rest
of his kind into outer space.
We are men, made to hunt, made from sterner stuff. Ours is the job of
protecting, surviving and of course ruling aristocratically. Ask any man. Well,
any man not in the company of a woman. You know the answer. It's instinctual.
I may not be politically correct, in fact I'm not political at all; I'm just correct.
Now that I've told it like it is, and sufficiently bolstered my male ego, I'll quickly
get to the point before my wife catches me at the computer rather than
scrubbing the floors like she told me to do. Sorry dear!
In fact a recent report by the Council on Contemporary Families shows that
men are actually getting better at cleaning up after themselves, helping around
the house and looking after the kids. While we're not necessarily doing 50% of
the household duties or looking after the kids as much as mothers tend to, we
are definitely improving and compared to our father's generation, we're down
right progressive.
The report suggests that men's contribution to housework has as much as
doubled in the past four decades and we have tripled the time we spend on
child care in the same period.
Of course, and rather surprisingly, the amount of nagging we endure has not
reduced correspondingly. In fact there are many men who would suggest that
the nagging has increased. We've shown weakness and the women have
moved in for the kill.
It makes you wonder if our fathers actually had it right. Sitting on their ever
expanding butts, as meals, snacks, beer and chips are brought forth from the
little woman's area. Watching TV as the housework, kids, dog and life goes by
around them.
Oh what a life! At least for a day...
But to be honest, I couldn't imagine being one of those old fashioned dads that
gets home from work and expects the children clean and quiet, to be seen but
not heard, the house tidy and dinner on the table.
I revel in getting down on the floor with my son and playing the games I know
he loves, knowing which teddy is his favourite, what each new sound he makes
means, anticipating his moods and marvelling at each new accomplishment.
Dare I say it, I even enjoy changing him (please don't tell my wife!), because it
is more bonding time for dad.
Best of all I love to learn all the wonderful little idiosyncrasies that make him
who he is. Our fathers and their fathers before them missed out on some of the
true wonders of life; and while I might momentarily envy them the comfy throne,
servile wife and the right to be a gruff authoritarian, I wouldn't trade places with
them for all the tea in China.
Now about that housework: When you say the floors need to be clean enough
to eat off, we're talking about the dog eating off them right?? If so, another job
well done!
To read more from a guy who kinda gets it, click here
Note from Myla: Ben Jones is a terribly funny and talented guy who seems to
understand, at least more than most guys do, how women think. I don't know
him personally, but if his writing is any insight on the man behind the pen, he
gets to hang around when women finally take over the world and shoot the rest
of his kind into outer space.
I'm writing a new book entitled, "Neighbors...Now
There's a Stupid Idea"
There's a Stupid Idea"
I've had incredibly bad luck with neighbors ever since I wondered away from the
comfort of my parents nest. I cannot seem to escape the odd, eccentric,
intrusive, nosey, loud, annoying, creepy people that have surrounded me no
matter where I may have called home.
I decided to write a book about these experiences, the majority of which are
now rather humorous as I look back upon them, and just wanted to let
everybody know to keep an eye out for it in book stores everywhere.
No, I don't have a publishing contract yet, or an agent, or even a completed
manuscript for that matter, but I'm positive I will one day have a best seller on
my hands even if I have to publish the darn thing myself.
Any agents out there that would like to take a chance on me, please take a
number and get in line as I'm sure by the time you read this I will have, most
certainly, become quite selective in who I allow to represent me...
comfort of my parents nest. I cannot seem to escape the odd, eccentric,
intrusive, nosey, loud, annoying, creepy people that have surrounded me no
matter where I may have called home.
I decided to write a book about these experiences, the majority of which are
now rather humorous as I look back upon them, and just wanted to let
everybody know to keep an eye out for it in book stores everywhere.
No, I don't have a publishing contract yet, or an agent, or even a completed
manuscript for that matter, but I'm positive I will one day have a best seller on
my hands even if I have to publish the darn thing myself.
Any agents out there that would like to take a chance on me, please take a
number and get in line as I'm sure by the time you read this I will have, most
certainly, become quite selective in who I allow to represent me...
The idea behind this website is almost completely self serving. I want to be discovered and employed
as a writer, preferably a writer that is not only highly paid, but reasonably famous as well ... yes, even
more famous than I am already, which is a stretch I know, but perfectly doable.
Nearly everything here is original except for some of my favorite videos and writings found across the
Internet. I will, however, remove said pieces should they find fame and fortune while I languish in the
cold, empty endlessness of cyber-space.
On the very likely chance that you find my writings interesting, amusing or of any measurable value,
please pass me on to other social networking sites, friends, family members ... lonely inmates maybe.
Should you have a job offer you think I would care to entertain, please do not hesitate contacting me with
all the juicy details! Just forward your offer to: contactmyla@yahoo.com
Enjoy yourself and please feel free to leave a comment, suggestion or, God forbid, a recommendation
on how I might go about better pleasing you all.
P.S. In case this whole writing for a living thing doesn't work out, I do actually have a day job. Well, sort
of. I help local businesses understand this here interweb thing so they can be found online. I look for
well deserving companies that I've used before and donate my time and wealth of knowledge on how to
market themselves on the web. So, if you come across anyone I recommend, please give them a call.
as a writer, preferably a writer that is not only highly paid, but reasonably famous as well ... yes, even
more famous than I am already, which is a stretch I know, but perfectly doable.
Nearly everything here is original except for some of my favorite videos and writings found across the
Internet. I will, however, remove said pieces should they find fame and fortune while I languish in the
cold, empty endlessness of cyber-space.
On the very likely chance that you find my writings interesting, amusing or of any measurable value,
please pass me on to other social networking sites, friends, family members ... lonely inmates maybe.
Should you have a job offer you think I would care to entertain, please do not hesitate contacting me with
all the juicy details! Just forward your offer to: contactmyla@yahoo.com
Enjoy yourself and please feel free to leave a comment, suggestion or, God forbid, a recommendation
on how I might go about better pleasing you all.
P.S. In case this whole writing for a living thing doesn't work out, I do actually have a day job. Well, sort
of. I help local businesses understand this here interweb thing so they can be found online. I look for
well deserving companies that I've used before and donate my time and wealth of knowledge on how to
market themselves on the web. So, if you come across anyone I recommend, please give them a call.
Should Men Be Helping With Housework and Child Care?
by: Ben Jones
by: Ben Jones
| Welcome, one and all to the best website on the planet! |
Virginia Woman (me) Wins Mother of
the Year in Landslide Victory
June 20th, I Finally Used my Mother's
Day present
Diamond Hunting in the Walmart
Parking Lot
Bibliophobia, A Better Excuse Than
the Dog Ate my Homework
Roosters and Used Cars
the Year in Landslide Victory
June 20th, I Finally Used my Mother's
Day present
Diamond Hunting in the Walmart
Parking Lot
Bibliophobia, A Better Excuse Than
the Dog Ate my Homework
Roosters and Used Cars
| Let Me Know What You Think About... |
This section of the website covers certain things I haven't quite made my mind
up on yet. I would appreciate any arguments for or against my latest dilemmas.
Just leave a comment in the feed back form and I will consider using your
opinion in an upcoming article, which, considering my brilliance and popularity,
could receive thousands of views, perhaps finally giving you your long sought
after 15 minutes of fame...
up on yet. I would appreciate any arguments for or against my latest dilemmas.
Just leave a comment in the feed back form and I will consider using your
opinion in an upcoming article, which, considering my brilliance and popularity,
could receive thousands of views, perhaps finally giving you your long sought
after 15 minutes of fame...
| Nancy Grace: Love her or hate her? |
So, what do you think of Nancy?
I think she treats her guest like
crap and could do more as a so
called proponent of "victim's
rights', but I haven't quite made
up my mind yet, care to chime
in?
I think she treats her guest like
crap and could do more as a so
called proponent of "victim's
rights', but I haven't quite made
up my mind yet, care to chime
in?
I'm not one of those people who ask for
donations, although I certainly could with all
the incredible information and
entertainment I provide at my site.
No, all I ask is that you pass this site along
to your friends should you find it worthy.
Also, I have written two books that you
could consider buying from this site which
would be a great way to show your support
and get something extremely valuable in
return.
The first book is on how you can build your
very own hydrogen generator to power your
car on water. I'm being serious here. You
can cut your gas bills in half with this device.
Check it out right here
donations, although I certainly could with all
the incredible information and
entertainment I provide at my site.
No, all I ask is that you pass this site along
to your friends should you find it worthy.
Also, I have written two books that you
could consider buying from this site which
would be a great way to show your support
and get something extremely valuable in
return.
The first book is on how you can build your
very own hydrogen generator to power your
car on water. I'm being serious here. You
can cut your gas bills in half with this device.
Check it out right here
My other book is on Home Schooling. It is a
complete guide on everything you need to know
to home school your children.
You can check it out right here
Both books are just ten dollars and well worth it.
In fact, I have sold over 4000 Hydrogen
Generator ebooks over the past year without a
single return.
complete guide on everything you need to know
to home school your children.
You can check it out right here
Both books are just ten dollars and well worth it.
In fact, I have sold over 4000 Hydrogen
Generator ebooks over the past year without a
single return.
How You Can Support My Amazing Website
| My Latest Fight Against... |
The Church of $cientology...
You may not know a lot about this group or its founder, but I can tell you one
thing, this is not a religion, it is a cult, and a dangerous one for that matter.
Just watch the video below and you will discover just how crazy these people
are. This video is followed by an indepth series that really gives you a good
idea of what $cientology is all about. This is a six part series and you will find
the links below the introductory video
You may not know a lot about this group or its founder, but I can tell you one
thing, this is not a religion, it is a cult, and a dangerous one for that matter.
Just watch the video below and you will discover just how crazy these people
are. This video is followed by an indepth series that really gives you a good
idea of what $cientology is all about. This is a six part series and you will find
the links below the introductory video
So Myla, When Can We Expect To See You On
The New York Times Best Seller List?
The New York Times Best Seller List?
» left by Gary W. Halsey
Okay Myla, you not only had
me laughing hysterically, I
almost swallowed a grape
whole!! This was, without a
doubt, one of the best
articles I have seen on
SearchWarp yet!!
Everything else I have read
is extremely good, but this
was Exceptional!! I reallly
don't know what you do for
a business, but if it isn't a
reporter for the "Daily
Planet", I think this super
mom is missing her calling!
I wonder what your alias
name
is........hummmmmm???? I
found this very clever,
especially the part where
there was only four votes,
and you wondered who
opted out!!! hahahahaha,
halairous, witty, funny,
oh......and let me know when
the stroller derby is taking
place....why did I have this
visual of you running in high
heels, crashing into
everybody, with no regard
to your own safety??? (That
was weird). Still let me know,
I will buy tickets!!!! I mean,
after all, you DO need to
defend your 4 vote title!!
Love this through and
through!!!! Your friend in
pen.....Gary....If there was
10 stars, I would give them
all to you!!
» left by Dianne Lehmann
Hi Myla.
Wow! This is a great article.
Well written, funny,
profound. And your kids are
brilliant. You are obviously
doing a great job of rearing
them. What an adventure.
Not sure I would have come
through it so well.
Great job all around.
Dianne
Okay Myla, you not only had
me laughing hysterically, I
almost swallowed a grape
whole!! This was, without a
doubt, one of the best
articles I have seen on
SearchWarp yet!!
Everything else I have read
is extremely good, but this
was Exceptional!! I reallly
don't know what you do for
a business, but if it isn't a
reporter for the "Daily
Planet", I think this super
mom is missing her calling!
I wonder what your alias
name
is........hummmmmm???? I
found this very clever,
especially the part where
there was only four votes,
and you wondered who
opted out!!! hahahahaha,
halairous, witty, funny,
oh......and let me know when
the stroller derby is taking
place....why did I have this
visual of you running in high
heels, crashing into
everybody, with no regard
to your own safety??? (That
was weird). Still let me know,
I will buy tickets!!!! I mean,
after all, you DO need to
defend your 4 vote title!!
Love this through and
through!!!! Your friend in
pen.....Gary....If there was
10 stars, I would give them
all to you!!
» left by Dianne Lehmann
Hi Myla.
Wow! This is a great article.
Well written, funny,
profound. And your kids are
brilliant. You are obviously
doing a great job of rearing
them. What an adventure.
Not sure I would have come
through it so well.
Great job all around.
Dianne
| Recent Comments Left By My Many Adoring Fans... |
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Scientology?
Scientology?
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